I Want A Marriage Not Just A Wedding

Seek the marriage it last for a lifetime

A wedding is just a day but a marriage is for a lifetime. Many couples entering into this sacred union never looks at the marriage they only focus on the wedding. There is nothing wrong with celebrating your union in a big way or a small way that is strictly up to you but remember that the focus should be on the marriage. 

There are some traditions where the wedding is more than one day. It maybe as little as one day or as much as a week however no matter what the tradition is it has a set amount of time to begin and end. There is an ending to the wedding aspect of the union. It has to end so that the meat of the relationship can begin and grow. That is the marriage. There is no set time for that to end unless you say for a lifetime as God has ordered it.

The marriage is the union that will allow the couple to remain sealed together through many seasons of their joined life. They will experience seasons when they will find themselves in the valley. A place with many difficulties. A place where it will pull on the union and challenge the couple to seek a place in God to sustain then and give then a direction so they can get out from under. Once the couple has had a few of these seasons they will learn that God is the driving force in their marital union and that He orders their steps as long as they seek Him for His marital guidance. 

Likewise the marriage will have seasons where the couple will be on the mountain top. Nothing could go wrong and they delight in the joys of being one together in Christ Jesus. They experience big highs and it seems the lows will never come. Once more they are sealed in God's love and protection and the marital union grows and develops. The marriage yields its fruits and the couple grows closer than they ever have before. 

It's the seasons of marriage that is what the union is. It's the development of their love of each other and Christ that makes the marriage work. It's being able to count on one another to support the growing relationship of the union that would never have been if it was only the wedding and nothing else. When you seek to be joined in a marital union remember that the ultimate goal is the lifetime marriage and not the day long wedding. Seek the joys of the wedding day but desire the lasting longevity of the marriage. Marriage done God's way will give you the joy of both.

A Marriage of Three

Loving God will keep you loving each other

How in the world can you be a couple in marriage yet have a marriage for three? In fact why would you want to be married and have another person in your marriage? On the surface these are great questions and make a lot of sense. However as a Christian we know that our marriage based on God's creation includes Him. In fact without God as your center than eventually your marriage will fall and die

Who goes into marriage expecting that the union would die? That to me does not make sense. You go into marriage expecting it to last for a lifetime. Having this thought pattern encourages you to seek out ways to keep your marriage healthy and alive. The best and only way to do this is to include that third person. That being God. He is the centered of the union. He is and will guide you as a couple because after all He created the union in the first place. No God no real marriage. With God a lasting faithful marriage. Just that simple.

It is true the closer you as a couple move toward God and His ways the closer you will move toward each other. You have a base to build from. You have solid ground to grow from. You have someone during times of trouble. You have all that you need to live a lifetime with your spouse. Marriage without God is just one big date. In order to become one together you must have God as your cement and your super glue. God will never let you down and he loves the union because its more than just two people joining together. It's the couple joining together with him becoming the family that he created the world to be.

With God as your center the couple can be fruitful in all their ways. They can produce the good fruit and blossom and grow. Even in their old age they are still happy together in love because God is still their guide and their first love. Try God. Make sure that you have a marriage of three so that a three cord string together is stronger. You will need His strength to weather all of the seasons of marriage. Remember marriage God's way is for a lifetime. The only way to achieve this is to have a marriage for three.

Butterflies

Love God's way will
keep you united during
every season

Valentine's Day is coming and most of us have a focus on love. Recently my husband and I have been spending a lot of time together. This is really a first for us. While we are close to 40 years of marriage during most of that time we had to divide our time together with all of the other things that we had to do to maintain our life. 

You know what they are building a God center life and home. Working, raising children, paying bills, just trying to make it while we grew together as a couple. Now we are empty nesters and I'm semi-retired. My husband however still works full time. Recently we have been blessed with him being off for three months on a long overdue vacation. He has had time on his hands and has been able to rest. We knew that he would be going back to the rigid pace soon so we just enjoyed this rare treat that God blessed us with.

It has been amazing to be together everyday just being a couple. We have found each other once more. Only this time things have slowed up. There are still bills to be paid but not as many. We still interact with our children but they are grown. Now we just go and play with our grandchildren. We still have to work but it's not in the same way. We laugh more than ever. We miss each other more than ever and we cuddle more than ever. 

Its as if another chapter has opened up for us. We are excited about how we will be when we both really retire completely. When we will be able to do the marriage and relationship ministry full time. When he can create his art and I can write my fiction novels. When we will be able to just do whatever we want to do together. During this short time where God has blessed us with a preview of how our life would be we are so grateful that we have each other.

We are so thankful to our Lord that He allowed us to see how marriage His way turns out. He showed us that as we continue to live as He ordered us to then every season will bring us to a unique lifestyle. One that encourage us to grow in Him and love deeper than we ever have. I never thought it could get any better than what we had and now I know that it's going to get even better. 

I encourage you all to keep growing and loving each other in the way that God created marriage to be. Enjoy each season no matter how tough it is. Never stop working hard to maintain your marriage on steady ground. Remember as long as you strive to become one together in Christ each season will surprise you with a joy that you never knew could be. 

One day married or 40 years married you will always look at each other and feel the butterflies. You will always get that feeling that you were meant to be. You will be complete and united. You will enjoy life as God has ordained it for you and know that you are never alone. You will be cemented together during the good and the bad. 

Then like the picture above you can say that:

"Your spouse still gives you butterflies"

Happy Marriage Day

2014 let's create a Happy Marriage Day holiday

We just came out of the holiday season so many would think that they don't want to hear about another holiday. I understand but lets take a moment to just look at things. Everyone loves a holiday. It's a time when people come together to just fellowship and have a great time.

With that type of thinking in mind then having a holiday any time you want would be a great way to just enjoy each other. This leads me to look at our marriages in another way. As a couple you can create your very own "happy marriage day". Not your anniversary but a day whenever you need it to celebrate your marriage. It could be a new tradition that you and your spouse creates that will allow the two of you to focus on each other for just a day of marital love.

A time that you choose to make your spouse feel special for just a day. My suggestion would be to just surprise your spouse with this special day every now and then. As a wife this is something that I would love and would make sure that you are thanked in a way that you would be glad that you thought about this day just for me. Likewise ladies your man would be so humbled and thrilled to know that you appreciated him so much that you created a day that was just about him. He would go out of his way to let you know that he loves and appreciates you for making him feel like a king.

This new year do something different create a day whenever you feel like it and call it "Happy Marriage Day". Let your spouse know that you love and appreciate them by inventing a day that's just for them. Now make sure that the day is not your normal anniversary. Remember with "happy marriage day" you can do it one day a year or every month if you want to. Its up to you as to how you want to do it but please just do it. Make marriage unique and special. Nothing like anything thing else.

Marriage God's way is under attack and we need to bring back the love and uniqueness in the sanity of the union. The world can call it anything that they want but God has a special place for this union and so shall we. Begin this year by changing your marriage and placing your union as your number one focus once more. Just think whenever you need a holiday then just give your spouse a "happy marriage day" and enjoy the fellowship.

Let's Fall In Love Each Day

Married couples can fall in love each day

Being married comes with many rewards that most couples overlook. We have been blessed with a lifetime partner. Someone that we can have fun with and do things with for as long as we have life within us. When we approach our marriages with this in mind then there should never be a dull moment. We should embrace the fact that we don't have to be alone. We have someone that will be there to do all the things that we can to do. While we have a joint focus in our everyday living we must likewise have that same type of focus in our togetherness.

When we come together in just fun and relationship before we know it we start to fall deeper in love again. Being together enjoying one another as your partner and friend will deepen the love level that is your base. God blessed us with being together as one for a lifetime. For most that is at least sixty years. Just think what you can do with those years. Yes we have to take time to build the family, home, and business.

However at the same time we must remember to build the love. The more we are together to just being playmates, buddies, and best friends the deep the love grows. In fact you can fall more in love each day. What I have found over the close to forty years of marriage with my spouse is that now after empty nest we have developed a patterned that allows us to just enjoy each other. Each week that passes I've noticed that our love has gotten stronger.

It has dived deeper in the sea of love. No matter how deep it goes down we never drown but bounce up to the surface with more joy and love then we could image that we could ever have. I'm here to tell you this month to keep loving. Everyday provide time for you and your spouse to laugh and play. He/she is your own personal playmate enjoy each other. If you can't play a game then make each other laugh. Laughing is the greatest way to bond and it will keep your love level growing deeper. 

I encourage you this month to seek ways to cause your marriage to reach a deep level of love. For most people we are heading into the season where the weather outside is cold. You want to be in the house cuddling with your best friend. When you do this then you will see the little buds of new love growing. As you keep watering those buds and feeding them then your love will just take off and you will be back to a level of joy that you could not ever thought you could be. Enjoy the life time gift that God has given us. Seek a deeper love each and everyday with just a little bit of fun and joy added to your norm and before you know it you will be deeper in love with one another. 

Christmas Book Sale

This is a direct sale by the author
for the Christmas season
11/28/13-1/6/14

SaBrowny's Book and Publishing Tip

Christmas is coming and everybody would love a nice sale. Here at SaBrowny Rae Books we are offering our paperback copy of Backdoor Tales:Tears of the Serpent and September Love at a great direct author sale discount. Each book will be signed by the author and you will save $5.00 off the original price.

That's right each autographed copy will be on sale for $10.00. This will make a great keepsake and such a wonderful winter read. Contact us via our Facebook Fan page with an inbox and you will receive the pay-pal information. We have discounted the shipping and handling price as well.
The sale runs from 11/28/13-1/6/14

The best gift to give this year is a copy of the written word!

Inbox us at:
www.facebook.com/sabrownyraebooks

I've Been Married for Twenty Years Without One Disagreement

I would like every married couple who has been married for at least one year to sixty years to raise your hand if you have never been angry with each other. I should not see any hands raised. If there are a few all I can say is :"Lies you you tell!!!" In the voice of the famous Tamar Braxton-Herbert.  There is no way that you can love someone and never have an angry moment. I have to admit my husband and I have been married close to forty years and while we have not had many blow ups we have had a few.

Disagreements is part of life. They will happen. A married couple should expect them because you can't always be on the same page on everything. So if we expect this to happen then we must put a solution in place when anger comes between the couple. First we must be honest with each other. Many arguments begin because one or both of the spouses are angry. They might not let the other one know that and before you know it they are  fighting over how to crack and egg. The problem was not the egg issue but the anger over something that was not conveyed to the other. 

When you are honest with your spouse about what has caused you to be upset then you open the door to a sound conversation and allow the love to replace the anger. Next you have to remember that anger will go away but the love won't. Your marriage is more than just an angry moment and so always look at the bottom line and that is the loved shared between the couple.

Agree to disagree and then go into neutral corners. Just like a prize fighter when the bell is rung the opponents move to a place away from each other. This is something that must be done so that each spouse can think about what's going on. During that alone time don't think about what's making you angry but look at the total problem. Attempt to look at both sides. Take your emotions out of it. Both spouses should separate for at least one hour. The first half an hour to calm down and the next half to think about your actions and your love. Plan to come together after the hour and converse calmly. If you still disagree then leave it alone for now and kiss and make up. Bottom line is the love. Pray together that a sound solution can be reached and no further problems come from that angry moment.

Learn to speak using your "I" words and never push blame on the other by using "you" words. Explain yourself from your own perspective. You can not speak for your spouse only for yourself. You might have heard it different from what has been said. By saying "I thought that ....." You are expressing the way you heard it or interpreted it to mean. This opens the conversation so that your spouse can explain what they were saying and why. Many times it was not meant the way you heard it or felt it. 

Don't go to bed angry. Remember to clear up the problem even if you have to pray on it to have a solution before you go to bed. You have to leave it alone and move on to the next level. When this is done then harmony and peace will remain in your marriage and before you know it the love is stronger than before.

If it appears that you are always angry at each other or arguing then you need to have an intervention with a Christian counselor, your pastor, or a marriage mentor. If you don't have any of these people to talk to then get with an older married couple who can offer some wisdom and insight. Join your marriage ministry group at church. Get with us here on the net and send us your questions and concerns. 

Last but not least learn how to say "I'm sorry" and "I made a mistake"..."Will you forgive me". Sometimes that's all it takes to fix the problem. However don't just say the words but mean it and provide change with your actions. Always remember that you love this person and have vowed to spend the rest of your life with him/her. 

As you grow in marriage remember that there will be times when you disagree. Once that happens then put your plan into action to solve the problem or problems and get back to the business of loving each other. Make sure God is the head of your marriage and seek Him first and then follow his leads. Never speak bad about your spouse to others because anger is short lived and you will be back together before you know it. You don't want your small marital problems to be the source of the next Facebook gossip. 

As the above picture suggests " Love is caring for people even when you are angry."